On Tech: Changing What It Means to Be Online
Read Time: 10 minutes
I recently turned 16 years old, just two months ago. Born in 2009, I spent the majority of my waking hours online in some capacity. Earlier this week my brother and I had a conversation about our experience growing up online, and how our generation were the first to be able to do everything on the internet. It’s weird to think about – I see videos on YouTube about the “good old days”, where people bought their movies on VHS tapes at Blockbuster or how using a computer was an ordeal needed to be done at your local library.
It’s not like I’ve never interacted with physical media; I used CDs and DVDs and ipods when I was really little, but it was a supplement for the much more sedative Ipad screen. I sincerely cannot remember a time where YouTube Kids was not in my life. So when I see videos of people going back to those mediums, rejecting soul-sucking content controlled by lucrative algorithms by companies with perverse political agendas, I can’t help but feel so utterly lost on what to do. It’s such a daunting task, letting go of something that is all I know.
To be quite honest I don’t know how to live without listening to a YouTube video while playing Minecraft, or listening to music on Spotify (or YouTube Music, I’m just now starting to realize how dependent I am on YouTube alone, lmao). I think back to when I was younger, in elementary school or so. I had a few friends, would play pretend Pokemon on the playground, occasionally join in a game of tag, but I never really biked to a friend’s house or had sleepovers. Part of that could be because of where I live (people live pretty far away and transportation is not easy without a car), but I can attribute it to my lack of trust in the age-old system of making good friends. It took too much time, too much effort to schedule a playdate with someone that I may or may not like hanging out with.
You know what was easier? Finding readily-available chatrooms to talk to people who I already know like the things that I like. Isn’t that so simple? I don’t have to worry about upsetting people either, or saying the wrong thing, because if I do fuck it somehow I can just leave the chatroom and find another one!
Now, dear reader, you might think, “hey that sucks pretty bad, man.” And I’d agree! But things only got a whole lot worse when the pandemic rolled around. Now, there was truly nothing I could do other than be online. I would call my friends on Discord (whom I love dearly!), play games, go to bed. I wouldn’t see the sun for days. I was already socially inept, but this threw any social skills I had in the gutter.
I think part of why I love the internet so much though, is that I can exist in any shape or form I desire. I can consume media that revolves around what I like, hear opinions that I agree with, talk to people who like the same things as me – but what was more profound, was my ability to exist as a queer preteen, under circumstances that made it near impossible for me to do so offline. For that, truly, I am grateful. I think I would be much less comfortable with myself if it wasn’t for that. But I just wish I found other ways to connect, because the damage being so very online had on me, and continues to have on me, is immense and irreversible. I have yet to see the full extent of such damage, but I can feel it in my brain somehow, that something deep inside there has been rotting since the day I discovered Minecraft YouTube Let’s Plays.
I feel as though my ability to think for myself has deteriorated. Or perhaps has not been trained enough, like a muscle that has been left unheeded in workouts. A 20 minute YouTube video (there it is with YouTube again!) is enough to change my entire worldview, and I see it happen time and time again. Honestly I am not sure what is to be done about that specifically, but I think I must start with reflecting and understanding. Something that I have not been giving myself enough time to do lately.
SPEAKING of YouTube videos! I watched this 30 minute video-essay-thing by @Struthless on “The Brainrot Apocalypse" that completely and utterly shattered my worldview yet again! I’ll link the video below. While I am rather exasperated with the language used around Anti-AI content, terms that make the problem seem a lot worse and more dangerous than people make it out to be, I did find an unexpected solace in this particular video.
Essentially, the creator made this First Aid Kit for protecting yourself from Brainrot. I thought I might list this stuff out here in my own words kinda so I have a place to look back to.
Use your phone with intention!
I really liked this one, because the biggest issue that I think most people have is not that they’re addicted to social media (which is a term that is thrown around much too loosely for my liking), but that they don’t really have any direction while using it. Just asking yourself, “hey, what do I want to do on this app? What am I hoping to get out of this?” is enough to possibly divert your attention elsewhere. I’ve been using that recently and it’s helped me immensely!
The creator also mentioned the use of a couple websites to get used to consuming media that is not algorithmic in the same sense that YouTube or Instagram is. I’ve already been doing this for a while, but it never hurts to look at more academic journals! One thing I need to start doing more often though is lateral reading while doing such activities, and questioning results / differing perspectives on those papers!!!! Which gets me to the next item in the first aid kit…
Learn how to catch bullshit!!!
This in my opinion is probably the most important one for me, since it’s the thing that affects me the greatest I’d say. Read on cognitive bias, logical fallacies, what makes an argument strong? Identity blindspots!!! This has kind of been drilled into me since I was young, like avoiding making generalizations or getting my arguments checked, but it's not really the case for casually consuming content.
I loved the idea of reading extreeeemely falsifiable books as a way to practice this skill! I think it sounds very silly. “The Great Dinosaur Mystery SOLVED!” will be next on my list. This also plays into strengthening media literacy. I’ve already had the books on my list, like Amusing Ourselves to Death, but the Propaganda one by Jacques Ellen sounded very nice to read as well.
CONSUME NON-ALGORITHMIC (kinda because search queries kinda work that way) CONTENT
WAYBACK MACHINE!!! INTERNET ARCHIVE!! I’ve always found that stuff super cool, I loved looking at old youtube or those shitty geocities-esque sites. It’s why I love neocities! This has always been my “digital garden” of sorts, but part of the reason why I’m posting this is because I want to make my website a space of my own. Even if the stuff I post is cringy and corny.
Here is the video I am referring to if you, reader, are interested: Youtube video
OKOK goodbye thank you for reading whoever you are!! Take care of yourself and live with conviction. Oh and also add your names to the guestbook, would be much appreciated. `<3` `<3`